What? High?

I'm not high man, I just really, really, really LOVE this hand. Got any Cheetos?

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What? Warp-speed?

Purring so much we've reached warp-speed you say? Is there food in hyperspace?

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What? Bed?

So not peeing on the floor all day means I can sleep in the bed with you again?

Let's see if I can do that at night too, with this mighty case of hiccups I have.

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What? Apologize?

For what? Oh...that...peeing all over the floor thing. Yeah. That. Um....

Sorry.

What?...ever...

Truce?

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What? Read?

I think you misunderstand me woman, this is petting time. Now.

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What? Your hand?

Nope, mine now.

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What? You call this music?

Here, let me fix this for you.

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What? Personal space?

Never heard of it.

What? No party?

But I'm wearing my best boa and everything. You always ruin my Friday nights like this.

What? Sleep?

Not while I have to keep watch for little monsters. I'm doing this for your own good, human. Trust me.

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What? Are you insane?

You brought what into my house?

What...what the hell are those?

You...

What? Sleep unhindered?

Nope, this is my arm now.

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What? Already Occupied?

And your point is? Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn that you're already in the chair. I want in on this delicious swath of warm fuzzy sunlight and there ain't nothing you can do to stop me.

Am I right? Eh?

What? Sun? Again?

No comment from the lady, she's passed out. Fer' reals, she loves this couch!

What? Making the bed?

And I'm not allowed up there? The duck says no? This is ridiculous!

...at least you made me steps to get there. Sometimes.

What? Get up?

No thank you, Ducky and I will be sleeping in.

What? A sunny spot in the best couch ever?

I'm in.

What? Sun?

I don't give a rats ass that it was just pouring rain with thunder and lightening like the end of the fucking world. There is sun.

Sun.

What? Chin scratchins'?

No no, proceed. No bitching here.

What? Snuggles?

...fine. Tell no one.

What? This couch?

Yeah, this couch is mine too. Just like the other one. You can sit on the floor if you like.

What? Outside?

Are you insane? There's going to be FIREWORKS today.....that shit is loud! The hell are you thinking?!

What? Your side of the bed?

It's mine now.

What? Play?

Queens do not play.

What? Is it dead?

If it's dead, how can it pet me?!

What? Wear a hat?

Bitch please, you know pink isn't my color.

What? Toys?

What is this nonsense. I'm too old to play!



Oh wait...


Ooooops...

What? You wanted to use that arm for typing?

Tough titties.

What? He wants pettins'?

Bitch please.

What? You were sleeping?

Not for long you're not...

What? I can't get up on the bed?

Why the hell not!?

What? You want what?

I was sleeping. There better be tuna or your face'll be shredded.

What? You wanted to use your lap?

Screw that, I want a warm spot, bitch.

What? Do a barrel roll?

Like hell I will.

What? You wanted to turn off the light?

I think not.

What? You're cleaning?

Screw that, I'm going to the cat-cave.

What? We're moving?

I don't like this prospect one bit.